Thursday, October 28, 2010
Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?
That bitch was hot. I was digging her back in the day. For some reason I found her red coat so alluring.
How could she miss?
I am cursed with the recurrence of warts on my right hand, specifically on my digits. It's not very nice to look at, I feel sorry for people when I shake their hand, and it definitely does not pick up chicks. I've tried, doesn't work. Warts aren't hot.
I go to the doctor who I assume, after 6, 7 years of uni and an extra 20 years of experience, would have the skill set to burn off my wart. I was gravely mistaken. She missed...........how does she dab a cotton tip of liquid nitrogen left of my wart, and blister my hand for no good reason?
It shits me to tears that I did not say anything. I knew she missed....actually I did say something. I said 'You haven't burnt my wart'. She replied 'Yes I did, it's just warmed up again so it doesn't look burnt'. She was semi telling the truth. She fondled my wart with the liquid nitrogen, but then decided it would probably help me get rid of it better if she plunged it in to a healthy spot of skin just right of it instead.
It's a pity that I like this doctor. She's really cool....just not co-ordinated. I'll go and see her again for the second burn that never should have been needed.
THAT'S ANOTHER THING
I usually let the wart grow until it's huge and I cannot hold a normal conversation with people outside my inside social circle as I always catch them darting their eyes to my basically mutated right hand. Before you know it the conversation is based around my wart and how disgusting it looked and it always ended with 'You should get that burnt off sometime'. No shit mate. This time I got the burn in early so it would not look hideous and I would only have to get it burned once. So the moral of this story: A stitch in time does not save nine. A stitch in time is just practice for the other nine stitches that you'll probably have to get later.
Cool story bro. Yeah I know. Your fault for getting this far. If you have gotten this far you probably have enough free time to start playing starcraft 2. I've got to go pee.
Cool story bro!
I go to the doctor who I assume, after 6, 7 years of uni and an extra 20 years of experience, would have the skill set to burn off my wart. I was gravely mistaken. She missed...........how does she dab a cotton tip of liquid nitrogen left of my wart, and blister my hand for no good reason?
It shits me to tears that I did not say anything. I knew she missed....actually I did say something. I said 'You haven't burnt my wart'. She replied 'Yes I did, it's just warmed up again so it doesn't look burnt'. She was semi telling the truth. She fondled my wart with the liquid nitrogen, but then decided it would probably help me get rid of it better if she plunged it in to a healthy spot of skin just right of it instead.
It's a pity that I like this doctor. She's really cool....just not co-ordinated. I'll go and see her again for the second burn that never should have been needed.
THAT'S ANOTHER THING
I usually let the wart grow until it's huge and I cannot hold a normal conversation with people outside my inside social circle as I always catch them darting their eyes to my basically mutated right hand. Before you know it the conversation is based around my wart and how disgusting it looked and it always ended with 'You should get that burnt off sometime'. No shit mate. This time I got the burn in early so it would not look hideous and I would only have to get it burned once. So the moral of this story: A stitch in time does not save nine. A stitch in time is just practice for the other nine stitches that you'll probably have to get later.
Cool story bro. Yeah I know. Your fault for getting this far. If you have gotten this far you probably have enough free time to start playing starcraft 2. I've got to go pee.
Cool story bro!
Fucking Hipsters and their Fixies
Since I am now aware that people read this I may as well write it in a style that is more 'reader friendly'....maybe...I don't know I don't care you should really go do something more productive.
So I wake up this morning and start the usual shit talk with Ant. The majority of our conversations somehow find their way to hipster talk, and this one was no exception. I forgot who thought of it first, but we came to the idea that fixies, despite being fucking hipster, may actually be cool.
If hipsters use it, it must be cool right? I'm sorry but if you are thinking this you are probably a hipster or a hipster in the making, and you are living in your hipster delusion fantasy world where interior semiotics replays in your head over and over and over again. Maybe hipsters are cool? I'm not sure? Maybe you have to be a hipster to truly find out.....or maybe it's just best to play things safe.
Anyways so Ant is now giving me ideas.......a fixie may be the cool factor I need to boost my coolness past the point I set myself as a new years resolution. NO I HAVE NOT HIT THAT POINT YET BUT SHHHH BE QUIET. So we start contemplating, how much do fixies cost? It's a POS frame with one gear and no free wheeling ability, surely it will cost $100 or so right? Absolutely wrong. $400 for the cheapest fixie. I didn't believe the prices I saw online so I called up a shop for confirmation.
Ben Ngooi wtf were you thinking mate?
Out of curiousity I ask the store guy why people would purchase a fixie. Besides the simplicity, every reason he gave me seemed ridiculous, as if he was a delusional hipster himself. He wasn't he was just a salesman trying to do his job, but the fact of the matter is he was spitting shit.
So why are fixies so expensive if they are POS? BECAUSE OF HIPSTER DEMAND. At $400, surely there is excess demand coming from hipsters, and therefore the hipster population is growing. At $400, no wonder hipsters grow facial hair, it's because they spend all their hard earned money from the dole / working at a dodgy record store / working as a cameraman for interior semiotics 2, on a fixie and do not have enough money for a shaver! It's elementary my dear Watson! Anyways, if the hipster population grows to the point where they can no more be classified as a minority, are they still considered hipsters?
Ok so I think screw all this I am going to make my own fixie. I have an old mountain bike ready to be hipped up. Ant agrees that if this is done, all hipsters shall bow down to my superior hipness. This sounds very attractive - Duane Quek: King of the hipsters. I like the ring. Maybe the hipster way of life is for me? I google this idea, thinking it'll be easy. I was gravely mistaken. It seems like making something so damn simple is not simple at all. The complexity of converting an old bike into a fixie must be complicated by hipsters who just need everything to be 'artsy'.
Do I have something against hipsters? No.....I am just a confused normal individual who is perplexed about the culture. I feel like I cannot ever join your ranks as my ability to grow facial hair is just embarrassing, and I don't own one of those cool polaroid cameras. If anyone is reading this and they own a fixie, I just want you to know that I am uber jealous and I want a ride. Ben, can you ride back from Melbourne so I can have a go? Cheers bra.
Unfortunately there are no hipsters in the MCL right now....
If you are unsure of what a hipster is, please google 'look at this fucking hipster' or 'interior semiotics' and you will get the gist...or not...it's probably better if you just live in your non hipster world ignorance, as knowledge of hipster culture may make you want to pour spaghetti all over yourself and more some in the name of art.
So I wake up this morning and start the usual shit talk with Ant. The majority of our conversations somehow find their way to hipster talk, and this one was no exception. I forgot who thought of it first, but we came to the idea that fixies, despite being fucking hipster, may actually be cool.
If hipsters use it, it must be cool right? I'm sorry but if you are thinking this you are probably a hipster or a hipster in the making, and you are living in your hipster delusion fantasy world where interior semiotics replays in your head over and over and over again. Maybe hipsters are cool? I'm not sure? Maybe you have to be a hipster to truly find out.....or maybe it's just best to play things safe.
Anyways so Ant is now giving me ideas.......a fixie may be the cool factor I need to boost my coolness past the point I set myself as a new years resolution. NO I HAVE NOT HIT THAT POINT YET BUT SHHHH BE QUIET. So we start contemplating, how much do fixies cost? It's a POS frame with one gear and no free wheeling ability, surely it will cost $100 or so right? Absolutely wrong. $400 for the cheapest fixie. I didn't believe the prices I saw online so I called up a shop for confirmation.
Ben Ngooi wtf were you thinking mate?
Out of curiousity I ask the store guy why people would purchase a fixie. Besides the simplicity, every reason he gave me seemed ridiculous, as if he was a delusional hipster himself. He wasn't he was just a salesman trying to do his job, but the fact of the matter is he was spitting shit.
So why are fixies so expensive if they are POS? BECAUSE OF HIPSTER DEMAND. At $400, surely there is excess demand coming from hipsters, and therefore the hipster population is growing. At $400, no wonder hipsters grow facial hair, it's because they spend all their hard earned money from the dole / working at a dodgy record store / working as a cameraman for interior semiotics 2, on a fixie and do not have enough money for a shaver! It's elementary my dear Watson! Anyways, if the hipster population grows to the point where they can no more be classified as a minority, are they still considered hipsters?
Ok so I think screw all this I am going to make my own fixie. I have an old mountain bike ready to be hipped up. Ant agrees that if this is done, all hipsters shall bow down to my superior hipness. This sounds very attractive - Duane Quek: King of the hipsters. I like the ring. Maybe the hipster way of life is for me? I google this idea, thinking it'll be easy. I was gravely mistaken. It seems like making something so damn simple is not simple at all. The complexity of converting an old bike into a fixie must be complicated by hipsters who just need everything to be 'artsy'.
Do I have something against hipsters? No.....I am just a confused normal individual who is perplexed about the culture. I feel like I cannot ever join your ranks as my ability to grow facial hair is just embarrassing, and I don't own one of those cool polaroid cameras. If anyone is reading this and they own a fixie, I just want you to know that I am uber jealous and I want a ride. Ben, can you ride back from Melbourne so I can have a go? Cheers bra.
Unfortunately there are no hipsters in the MCL right now....
If you are unsure of what a hipster is, please google 'look at this fucking hipster' or 'interior semiotics' and you will get the gist...or not...it's probably better if you just live in your non hipster world ignorance, as knowledge of hipster culture may make you want to pour spaghetti all over yourself and more some in the name of art.
Friday, September 17, 2010
The Chicken and the Old Man
Ok I did it! I had a shower! I'm stoked, I actually followed through on that one! High five for me, oh yeah baby.
I had a shower epiphany.
The KFC logo is of Colonel Sanders, this lovable old bloke who is constantly smiling and takes photos with little children in a non pedo bear fashion. I have been studying marketing, and have learnt something called 'conditioning', where the brain makes links between things even if, on the surface, they seem unrelated.
Ok this is probably easier if I use my KFC example.
I believe that the head honcho's at KFC are genius's. Unlike all other brands who change their logos to make them look more '21st century', KFC has always used ol' faithful as their logo AND mascot. They are geniuses because they have created a conditioned response within us: Every time we see an old white haired man with glasses, we think KFC, and when we think KFC, we think of juicy, succulent chicken that will make us salivate, just like Pavlov's dog. This paired with the slogan 'Can't beat that taste', which is oh so true, makes KFC unstoppable. No wonder they drove out Hungry Jacks at Rivo.
My proof to this? Mcdonalds have basically scrapped Ronald Mcdonald in all their ads. Why? Because he was shit! People rarely see clowns, and therefore rarely got inspired to eat maccers because they saw a clown! Especially when the clown, like Ronnie Mac, looks like a fucking paedophile. This is in direct contrast with the Colonel, who does NOT look like a pedo when he is chillin with children. M Ron just looks too damn happy when he's around kids. Suspiciously happy.
Spot the difference? I can't.....Ronald, bit too happy there mate? Nice positioning bro.
I had a shower epiphany.
The KFC logo is of Colonel Sanders, this lovable old bloke who is constantly smiling and takes photos with little children in a non pedo bear fashion. I have been studying marketing, and have learnt something called 'conditioning', where the brain makes links between things even if, on the surface, they seem unrelated.
Ok this is probably easier if I use my KFC example.
I believe that the head honcho's at KFC are genius's. Unlike all other brands who change their logos to make them look more '21st century', KFC has always used ol' faithful as their logo AND mascot. They are geniuses because they have created a conditioned response within us: Every time we see an old white haired man with glasses, we think KFC, and when we think KFC, we think of juicy, succulent chicken that will make us salivate, just like Pavlov's dog. This paired with the slogan 'Can't beat that taste', which is oh so true, makes KFC unstoppable. No wonder they drove out Hungry Jacks at Rivo.
My proof to this? Mcdonalds have basically scrapped Ronald Mcdonald in all their ads. Why? Because he was shit! People rarely see clowns, and therefore rarely got inspired to eat maccers because they saw a clown! Especially when the clown, like Ronnie Mac, looks like a fucking paedophile. This is in direct contrast with the Colonel, who does NOT look like a pedo when he is chillin with children. M Ron just looks too damn happy when he's around kids. Suspiciously happy.
Spot the difference? I can't.....Ronald, bit too happy there mate? Nice positioning bro.
Commitment
I am going to go for that shower. I need to prove to the world that I am a man who can stick to his decisions, and make them work for him.
Wish me luck.
Wish me luck.
Trying to be useful
Ok I am going to attempt making a useful post that MAY actually be handy to someone who reads this.....if that will ever happen.
1. Baking sponge cake is bullshit. Don't do it, it's too hard to get it right. Save your time, money and effort and go buy sponge if you want to work with it.
2. If you need to learn how to bake, you should consult Boon Yong Hong. That guy is under rated.
3. Sponge cake is great because it's very light and so you can eat lots of it in one sitting. The best sponge I have encountered requires one to separate the yolks and the whites. Sorry, cbf posting the recipe. If you truly want it for some reason msg me.
4. If you are trying to learn guitar chords, learn C D and G. You will know how to play 9 / 10 pop songs ever invented.
Ok this is stupid this isn't going anywhere.
1. Baking sponge cake is bullshit. Don't do it, it's too hard to get it right. Save your time, money and effort and go buy sponge if you want to work with it.
2. If you need to learn how to bake, you should consult Boon Yong Hong. That guy is under rated.
3. Sponge cake is great because it's very light and so you can eat lots of it in one sitting. The best sponge I have encountered requires one to separate the yolks and the whites. Sorry, cbf posting the recipe. If you truly want it for some reason msg me.
4. If you are trying to learn guitar chords, learn C D and G. You will know how to play 9 / 10 pop songs ever invented.
Ok this is stupid this isn't going anywhere.
Posting Useful Shiz
Maybe I should start posting useful things on this blog.....then people may start reading it and taking interest..........it will take a lot of effort....but so does a thesis, and that's way shitter.
Well....this is coming from a guy who is struggling to get himself to have a nice warm shower......maybe I will take a raincheque on this idea.
Well....this is coming from a guy who is struggling to get himself to have a nice warm shower......maybe I will take a raincheque on this idea.
My SC2 Experience
This is bullshit. I have played my fair share of SC2 in my time and I am still terrible. Silver leaguer? Who wants to be in silver league? No one. Because it's for the, in the words of Guhan, 'Tres Noobz'. I don't want to be a tres noob....
Guys have played half the amount I have and are way better. Phil has played about the same amount and is a zillion times better. I wonder if it is because I am not a gamer, and people who are gamers just game better than non gamers? Or maybe I get too bored mid game and just want to ghost losers. Like Craig. Ragic you are shit mate.
VT ftw baby oh yeah.
Guys have played half the amount I have and are way better. Phil has played about the same amount and is a zillion times better. I wonder if it is because I am not a gamer, and people who are gamers just game better than non gamers? Or maybe I get too bored mid game and just want to ghost losers. Like Craig. Ragic you are shit mate.
VT ftw baby oh yeah.
REAL BORED
I really need a shower. I have not showered today and it's getting pretty damn late. Fuck showering, it's overrated.
I am so bored right now I have resorted to typing on this shit hole....again....funny how this happens close to exam / thesis due time. I was meant to study, then I ended up in an extremely unproductive conversation with Anthony and Craig. Those guys talk so much trash I don't know if I should be thanking them for the laugh, or telling them to fuck off so I can try and find something more productive to do.
Writing in this blog is not helping me.........I should really go have that shower, maybe that will provide five solid minutes of entertainment. But when I get out I will be back at square one? Back at one? Brian Mcknight, oh yeah baby. Brian Mcknight ftw hardcore.
SC2 is shit. Why do I suck at it so much? Chantelle is a cool name, Chenelle should change it to Chantelle.
I am so bored right now I have resorted to typing on this shit hole....again....funny how this happens close to exam / thesis due time. I was meant to study, then I ended up in an extremely unproductive conversation with Anthony and Craig. Those guys talk so much trash I don't know if I should be thanking them for the laugh, or telling them to fuck off so I can try and find something more productive to do.
Writing in this blog is not helping me.........I should really go have that shower, maybe that will provide five solid minutes of entertainment. But when I get out I will be back at square one? Back at one? Brian Mcknight, oh yeah baby. Brian Mcknight ftw hardcore.
SC2 is shit. Why do I suck at it so much? Chantelle is a cool name, Chenelle should change it to Chantelle.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
15 Minutes Later....
....nuff said.......I hate Justin Bieber, aka Ken......I better go and study. CS is over rated anyways. It's a game only for asians.........not Koreans like me, who are leet at Starcraft 2.
I am L33T
CS is a very powerful force. It can stop one from studying in an instant. As you can see, I am top of the ladder. At this moment of time I am the envy of my peers. I am worshipped for my exceptional accuracy and wit. I am 5 for 1. For the next five minutes, I am a god. At this moment in time I feel like my potential is unlimited, and the world is at my feet. If I can get a ratio like that in CS, what other challenges in life could possibly prove to be worthy of my abilities?
ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST
Jim has entered the realm of awesomeness.....
Did I say awesomeness, I mean poo. Sorry for wasting two minutes of your life Jimbot.
Did I say awesomeness, I mean poo. Sorry for wasting two minutes of your life Jimbot.
I have a follower!
Follower, stalker, rapist, whatever you call them, I have them now. Her name is Megan Tan.
Win.
I should really get back to studying.
Jim seems quite interseted in my blog posting, so this shit must be interseting right? Where's my money? I need some advertising right? Screw advertising just give me my damn free ray bans.
Win.
I should really get back to studying.
Jim seems quite interseted in my blog posting, so this shit must be interseting right? Where's my money? I need some advertising right? Screw advertising just give me my damn free ray bans.
HAPPY ALMOST ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY!
It's almost been one month since I've made this epic blog. Megan has just pointed out that I have already explained this in the title, but screw her she doesn't know shit.
I was just looking at some pro blogs. They are hell pro. I've noticed that to make a succesful blog half your photos of you must have you be half naked in them. I think that is the key. Looks like I will have to hit the gym harder. Roids anyone? Cheap?
Megan is singing the 'porn' song from avenue Q....not very lady like is it? Didn't think so.
I want a free pair of raybans......
I was just looking at some pro blogs. They are hell pro. I've noticed that to make a succesful blog half your photos of you must have you be half naked in them. I think that is the key. Looks like I will have to hit the gym harder. Roids anyone? Cheap?
Megan is singing the 'porn' song from avenue Q....not very lady like is it? Didn't think so.
I want a free pair of raybans......
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Regret
I'm already regretting making this.....it's useless, and what would happen if I actually want to make a proper blog later in the future? What would I blog about? Cool shit obviously.....
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